Some Big BIG news!!

Some Big BIG news for the Delk family??  We're adopting!!

I wasn't really sure where to begin this blog, and I know a lot of you guys will probably have questions, so I figure I will try to do this in a question and answer format and hopefully you can learn all about our decision along the way.  If there is anything I don't answer just ask in the comments below and I'll do my best, or feel free to shoot me a personal email.  This might officially be the longest blog ever... so feel free to skim and read what you are interested in. Get ready for information overload!

Why adopt? 
This is such a tough question to answer because it for me is very complex.  I'll try and divide this up into sections so that it is easier to follow.

God's Calling for Adoption and Orphan Care
This is something I first heard at a Student Life Conference as a teenager, but didn't really hear again until we joined our current church now.  I loved hearing the Christian perspective and responsibility on adoption and definitely think it needs to be something we all hear much, much more.  I am actually going to borrow this from one of our Pastors-Josh at church.  I started to paraphrase but decided I would do a bad job.  He and his wife Katie are also adopting, and his explanation of this was just amazing.   I asked for permission to share their explanation with you.

 ["At the end of the day, Christians should not adopt simply because of the desire or the need. We should adopt because of the calling to care for the orphan and the fatherless. We are not social activists, but ambassadors of the Kingdom, a Kingdom in which no citizen is unloved or unwanted. Aside from marriage, there is no greater cultural illustration of the Gospel than adoption. We were the orphan, and we were not only unloved, but unlovable, mired in the wallow and filth of our own sin. But God saved us, rescuing us not only from our sin, but to his glorious grace and  an eternal inheritance in Christ. The apostle Paul talks about this in Romans 8:

            12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. (Romans 8:12-17, ESV)

God had “his own” Son. But out of his abundance of goodness, grace, and love, he still chose to adopt us as his children, to give us a life abundant and eternal that we would never know or experience without him. So Katie and I consider adoption an act of obedience to the call that God has placed on our lives: to pour out goodness, grace, and love on those who may not experience it otherwise, to give them a home and a family they would never have in an orphanage, all for their good and for his glory.

            I certainly recognize that not every Christian is called or equipped to adopt children. But we are all called to care for the orphan. Maybe that means you help others financially and prayerfully in their adoption journey. Maybe it means you should participate in foster care, or sponsor a child through an agency like Compassion, or contribute to a Christian adoption agency. But maybe, just maybe, he has called you to adopt. I can’t tell you what God has in store for you. But pray that God would reveal it to you. Recognize the need that exists, pray that God would burden you with a desire to respond, and be obedient to the calling he gives you. That’s precisely why we’re adopting. Won’t you join us?"]

4 Sing to God, sing praises to his name;

lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts;

his name is the Lord;

exult before him!

5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows

is God in his holy habitation. (Psalm 68:4-5, ESV)

The call of the Orphan (The Need)
     These are some facts and figures I found searching the internet (hopefully accurate) to show you the need for adoption- please remember when reading, that these are God's precious children, and each child is not a number, but a face.  It is estimated that there are between 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide. Those numbers don't even include millions of children that were abandoned or children sold or trafficked.   The entire population of the US is around 300 million for an idea on perspective.  Every day 5,760 children become orphans. There are 250,000 children adopted annually, but each year over 14 million grow up as orphans, most aging out of the system at age seventeen. The older children are especially vulnerable. 38,493 age out each year.  That's an orphan aging out every 2.2 seconds with absolutely no home and no family-no roots.   Studies show 10-15 percent commit suicide before they reach 18.   60% of those females aging out become prostitutes.  70% of the boys become hardened criminals. In another study it showed that of the 15,000 orphans aging out each year within 3 years 10% committed suicide, 5000 were unemployed, 6,000 were homeless, and 3,000 were in prison.  1.2 million children are trafficked every year; (The State of the World's Children 2005) and 2 million children are sexually exploited in the commercial sex industry.
     That's a lot of facts and stats. Like I said most of these came off of search engines, but I wanted to give you some idea of what goes on out there.

Our Personal Desire to Adopt
     For me, sometimes I think the small voice was always there.   As a young child hearing about missionaries to orphans in GA's class at church and seeing things on the television- it always pulled my heart.  I decided at a young age if I never married, that I would move to Africa live in a hut the rest of my life and work in an orphanage just like those missionaries.
     Well God intended different plans for my life, and he changed my calling through the years.   He also sent me Will, an amazing gift in the form of a husband, and a marriage that continues to shape me and make me more like Christ with everything I learn about sacrificial love.   I am so blessed with family.  However my call to orphans never faded.  The thought of a child growing up without a loving family, like I was so richly blessed with,  always tore my heart. I also worked with intercity children throughout college in mission settings.  I fell in love with the children. As a result, seeing the way some lived also broke my heart.
     There were so many children growing up all over the world, without a loving caring family.  I couldn't do a lot to change this except love the children.   I couldn't take them all home and change their paths.... but I could do this for at least one child in my future.  Would the one child make a world of difference?  Maybe not...but to that child it definitely would mean everything.
      I brought this up with Will when we were just dating.  He said adoption wasn't something he had put a lot of thought into, but that he liked that I had, and was most definitely open to it.   Through our first few years we began to pray about this, and where God would lead us.   Through this, Asia never seemed to leave our minds.  We weren't sure when or where exactly, but we did know we would.  This lead us to the past year of finally deciding this would be the best choice for our family to move forward with first. (More info on that below)

How long have you been thinking of adopting? As said above quite a while!  But we actually started this process almost a year ago in thinking and planning.   We knew it would take a bit to meet all the requirements for the agencies and countries since each have specific requirements of how old you are or how long you have been married.   Will had to turn 25, and we have to be married 3 years- which will happen in December, but we have permission to move forward a little ahead since we're close to the date.

Why not have your "own" biological children?
This child will most definitely be our "own" child just like any future biological children.  We will change this child's diapers, potty train this child, take this child to get ice cream, teach this child to ride a bicycle.  Just like any child and any future children we will aim to show this child love and grace, and teach them about Jesus and the gospel. We do currently plan to have bio kids a little later, if God so blesses us.   At this time with my current health status we probably shouldn't try for pregnancy, it might be a year or 2 before i'm well enough and off of my never ending antibiotics.

Why adopt first?
We honestly put a lot of thought into this. There's a little bit you skip out on, just in the initial excitement of other family members of announcing you're "expecting."   That's something that might be a little disappointing in a first grandchild not being of your own flesh, along with not having the experience of pregnancy with a first.  However we are still expecting!  It will just take a little longer.  The child might not look just like us, but could act and be a lot like us. Sometimes it's weird how that works.
     But in making the decision there's the practical side- easier for us to travel now, and easier financially. We felt if we had bio children first we might not be able to afford to adopt, or it might be something we passed over in the future and we never wanted that to happen.
     But finally and most important we considered the child and what we felt might be best. If you're an adoptive parent or know someone that adopted later, that is still completely amazing and was probably what was best for your family! And I know sometimes adoption is the only choice to grow a family, so for those out there, i'm so glad you chose to bring children into your home and adopt!  But just in our personal choice and because we have this unique opportunity now, we wanted our future child to feel like they were our first choice.   We don't even know if we can have children yet... but we don't want the child to feel like they were only a choice when we couldn't if that happens.  We want them to know we always intended to adopt and that they were special and chosen.  I think feeling a part of a family and that belonging is extremely important, so that's something we want to emphasize to all of our future little ones.

What about your health situation?  My health (Praise the Lord) has been somewhat better in this past month.  I'm not completely well, but I really hope to be before this new little one arrives in the next few years.  The time length is almost a blessing in that it should give me time to finish healing.  We've checked too with the agency and don't think it will be a problem.

Why adopt internationally? Domestic and International are both amazing opportunities.  I think both are equally important- both are helping give orphans loving homes.  For us there were probably a few factors that went in to the decision, but also  I've just always loved the idea of other cultures and having a multicultural family is something that has always interested me. I spent a lot of time with "conversation partners" foreign exchange students from the BSU when I was at Mississippi State.  Most of these were Asian, and I loved learning about the countries.  I think it's an amazing picture of Christ as we are all brothers and sisters in his family, and a picture of the melting pot heaven will be like.

Where are you adopting from?   Thailand

What lead you to Thailand?
     The road to Thailand was pretty long.  We knew we were called to Asia. For months we actually felt lead to Taiwan.  It was one of the few places we qualified for with all the limitations and requirements.  We found a small orphanage by happenstance that we fell in love with.  It was a ministry to the birth moms as well as a place that conducted a few adoptions each year.  It seemed perfect. However, shortly after that we found out the rules in Taiwan were changing.  This orphanage would have to raise thousands of dollars to reapply for a new license to keep operating and conducting adoptions.  The orphanage raised that incredible amount of money, but then the bad news came that they may only apply at certain times of the year, the next being November.   The orphanage was already closed for adoptions because of a very long waiting list.  So this would mean waiting until November, and some time after that to see if they got approved, and then some time after that before they opened the waiting list back up.   It was pretty indefinite.
     As we approached Will's birthday this year- when we would become eligible for some other places, we began to pray and look into other country possibilities.  Some that I didn't remember finding us eligible for before, upon rechecking, I found we were actually eligible.  We looked through dozens of programs, sent questions and inquiries to several agencies, and narrowed it to 2 countries- South Korea and Thailand.  We prayed seeking God's direction.
    I tended to lean towards South Korea.  I had a close friend there, that I knew while in college.  He is one of the first to introduce me to a lot of the Asian culture.  I thought it would be a great resource to teach the future child.
    Will tended to lean towards Thailand.  There was more of an opportunity there for the possibility of getting a girl- like we previously hoped for in Taiwan.  (Will has this fear a little boy will be just like him as a kid! ha paying for his raising)  In Korea there is a greater percentage of boys for adoption.   He also found information on Thailand and the need for adoption there.
     All in all we finally made the decision for Thailand. There were not many agencies still working with SK in this area.  We would have been limited to 2, both of which we were unfamiliar with. Most of the agencies have started only operating with waiting children, because there is less of a need in South Korea.  Koreans are now adopting domestically which is a great thing.  Thailand had an agency that we trusted and also is a Christian agency.  Also Thailand adoptions cost significantly less.  But then the extreme need for orphan care there was the significant factor that really convinced.
     Thailand while very wealthy in some areas, has extreme poverty in others.  There are a lot of children left orphaned in the country from growing rates of HIV.  There are also a lot of parents that give up children because of extreme poverty.  Thailand is also number one in the world for child trafficking.  Orphans are very susceptible to that.
    We are so excited about Thailand!  If you look at pictures, it is a beautiful beautiful country.  We can't wait to learn more about the culture! Thai food is amazing.  Also a place with beautiful elephants and the only place in the world with PINK dolphins is definitely my kind of place!

What agency are you using?  We chose to use Holt International Children's Services.   Oddly enough this is the adoption agency I saw a video on all those years ago as a teenager- one of the first tines I really felt lead to adoption. They're a Christian based agency. We love that they push strengthening families in the area first and foremost.  Only if the child absolutely cannot stay with the family do they get put for adoption.  That was very important to us in an area like Thailand.   They have some amazing ministries in the country outside of just conducting "adoptions."  This is also super important in orphan care and preventing children becoming orphans.

Won't it cost a lot? 
Yes, unfortunately all adoptions are expensive, international even more so.   Few people are surprised that it is expensive, but a  lot of people wonder why the expense...

There are fees associated with application, country, home study, legal documents, notarization, translating, background checks, fingerprinting, visas, travel and much more.  The money will go into our agency, to local and state governments, various institutions in Thailand etc.   Social workers also need to eat and orphanage nannies need at least some compensation for those countless feedings in the middle of the night. And unfortunately airlines just won't fly you for free.

All of this combined will be estimated at around 30,000. Certain fees will be due at certain times throughout the process.

This is definitely money we don't have just laying around somewhere in our 2.5 years of marriage with my health stuff happening.  So we will be asking and giving you the opportunity to help with some fundraising projects later on.  If you give please don't feel obligated to participate in every one of our projects.  But we would definitely appreciate the help and the gifts.   Also I would like to add that it's not us you are helping to "finance our adoption, or buy a kid in a sense," but you are helping a child that needs a loving family, come home.  It's not about us in that.   It is all about a little child out there waiting.

I can also officially announce I will be opening a shop on etsy and selling paintings done on wood with all proceeds going to help fund this adoption.   So stay tuned for  more details on that!


How long will it take? The entire process should take around 2-3 years. (Fingers crossed for as short as possible!)

Have you started yet? We plan to start the process in August, and we will keep you updated! There are a lot of funds we need to come up with by then/have up front.

How old will the child be? The child most likely will be a toddler age 18 months-3 years.

Can you pick gender? Boy or Girl?! No!  You can actually only chose if you already have a child at home. But I think that's even more fun!  Kinda like a birth in a sense... Can't wait to find out though! It's so exciting! We know it will be really fun either way!

Also a PS.   I hinted at big news to come for this blog, and that it had something to do with the title.  This is that big news!  Originally when we thought we would be adopting from Taiwan we thought we would choose a girl, and that "grace" would be her middle name.  Therefore this little "house of grace" would eventually be about the adoption and said little girl.  But now we don't know!  We have the awesome surprise of the fact that it could be a boy!  Either way... we know this house will still most definitely be full of lots of God's grace.

We're so excited to begin this process and to let all of you know!  We ask that you will join us in prayer for this process, the birth mom right now, and the future little one!

[Also a big big thanks to my sweet friend Katie Kubler for taking these awesome pictures to help with our announcement that I posted above! You can find her photography website here.   http://katiekublerphotography.blogspot.com/Isn't she the best?]

Also if you're waiting on the London Blog.... I just couldn't wait to announce this! Ha sometimes you can't hold it in anymore. So you can look for it sometime next week.